God Did Not Forget Her — Remembering Lisa Demb

Lisa Demb

1955–2021

In 2013, a tiny woman with a long history on the Tenderloin streets moved into Arlington, a Mercy Housing SRO in the neighborhood. She settled in and began to make friends. Then, in the fall, something new happened in a storefront on the property: Because Justice Matters opened The Well, our women’s center. A friend invited Lisa, and a long, beautiful story of friendship, love, and transformation began.

Born in Southern California, Lisa grew up in a family that never recovered from the trauma of World War II. Before reaching her teens, she had been introduced to drugs and alcohol. This would start a battle with addiction that nearly cost her life. Lisa was a brilliant child. She called school her “safe place” and realized she could succeed and find self-worth in academics. Even after a tumultuous adolescence, she managed to attend Princeton University on a full scholarship and graduate as part of the first network of young professionals studying education of autistic children.

Lisa came to San Francisco in the mid-1970s to pursue the study of learning and language acquisition among autistic children. She found meaning in this work and said, for the first time in her life, she felt hopeful. Yet life was hard. Lisa survived a failed marriage and was mother to a son and daughter. Her struggle with drugs escalated, and within a decade, she was living on the streets of the Tenderloin.

“I’m here and I’m real. All the bad things will lead to good things. I want you to live and tell this to everyone.”

This led to a powerful moment in Lisa’s life. In 2005, her health failed, and she was in a coma. Doctors predicted she would not survive, but, while she lay in the ICU, Lisa’s spirit and mind were alive. She often told this story: She lay in a coma, able to hear people speak in her hospital room. Decisions were made about continuing life support. But, deep in a coma, Lisa heard God speak.

At The Well, on a beautiful afternoon in 2014, Lisa told her BJM friends what happened. “He said, ‘I’m here and I’m real. All the bad things will lead to good things. I want you to live and tell this to everyone.”

Those words became a light for Lisa. She returned to them in hard times. She told others. And she used them as a roadmap in her battle for sobriety and health.

In November of 2014, at Lisa’s request, our BJM staff drove her and Myra, another BJM sister and close friend, to Crissy Field. There, upon her confession of faith, Lisa was baptized. It was a sweet, powerful moment that marked a decision that would remain unshaken for the rest of her life. Lisa said yes to Jesus—who had, from the beginning, always said yes to her!

Lisa often spoke of “waiting for my miracle,” and often reminded others, “Don’t leave five minutes before God does the miracle!” Miracles were real for her. In 2015, after waiting 8 years, Lisa received a kidney transplant. Because of her fragile health, her blood type, and her history of drug abuse, her place on the transplant list was tenuous and strewn with obstacles. Yet, as she said, “God did not forget me.”

Lisa was able to reconnect with her son, whom she had not seen since he was a child. She considered this another of God’s miracles. Returning to sobriety after relapse? Another miracle. Sharing about her precious Jesus with a friend she’d once done drugs with on the streets? Still another.

All this time, Lisa was at the center of the community of Tenderloin women who considered Because Justice Matters part of their lives. If The Well was open, she came. She brought her considerable talent as a painter and poet to our Art for the Heart group. She helped lead Chit Chat Cafe, a 12 Step–based support group to help women integrate their faith and their sobriety. Lisa played piano beautifully at our weekly Nail Day “manicure Mondays” for women. She often played for the joy of it at The Well. She shared both her music and her testimony at a BJM Gala and, later, at a celebratory spring social to thank volunteers.

Lisa was a mentor and support in the early days of EdenMade, our BJM ministry with women in the adult entertainment industry. As a survivor, she understood the industry and knew the lives and struggles of the women in ways none of us would ever understand. Her insight and encouragement were so valuable.

Sheltering-in-place during COVID was difficult for Lisa. She continued her recovery work and fought isolation and discouragement through friendships at the Curry Center. BJM staff kept contact with her through phone calls and “separate but together” lunch and coffee dates.

In early spring of 2021, Lisa became ill. Her frail body, that had so often fought back from illness, was not strong enough this time. In early March, we learned that our sister Lisa had died. Phone calls to friends far and near were met with the same reaction: We are so sad. We miss her great sense of humor and her frequent 12-step one-liners. We wish we could hear her play the piano one more time.

But for Lisa, everyone had the same response: yes! Our sister was now whole. Now, with her precious Jesus. Now, no longer struggling with health—now strong and happy. Making art. Making music. And receiving Jesus’ love without any obstacles or questions.

We remember what Jesus said to her years ago, “I’m here and I’m real. All the bad things will lead to good things.” That is exactly what happened.

Lisa has received her miracle. And we are grateful.

“God did not forget me.”